corporatepolicy | Recruitment (Reply)

Mr. Shelley

By now, you are no doubt familiar with our recruiter, Mr. Shelley. It may be necessary to inform you, at this point, of his true nature. Recruiting from across the infinite span of the multiverse is a task greater than any traditional Human Resources department could hope to accomplish. The energy cost of sending representatives to thousands of worlds alone would be prohibitive. And yet, the Corporation needs to be able to recruit in order to function.

Mr. Shelley is the solution to this problem. The science is too complex to detail in this space, but in essence, a quantum computer, which exists partially in all universes simultaneously, scans each universe's probability field for patterns which indicate an individual or institution who is likely to be amenable to our offer. When it identifies these patterns, the computer projects a psychic image in order to make contact.

Those of you who were approached directly may remember the day that Mr. Shelley, a well-dressed man with a briefcase, knocked on your front door and presented you with a job offer. However, if you think back, you'll find that you cannot recall a single actual feature of his face. Mr. Shelley never existed, save for in your mind. He is, nonetheless, extremely persuasive.

Of course, those of you who were recruited through partner institutions will have had considerably less contact with Mr. Shelley, as he would instead have approached your superiors.

Recruitment

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